Before I can talk of the great man in the story. Let me note something that many people did not realize in analyzing Jacque’s unfortunate story. That in the same week she was in trouble, Waihiga Mwaura was in triumph. Both work with the same company. The later won an award with an unfamiliar name from BBC; Komla Dumor. The reporting Anchor started by proudly saying, “Our very own Waihiga Mwaura!!” In contrast, we all know what they called Jacque, “A female Journalist.” And that’s the world for you. You are theirs when winning and a stranger when losing.
I don’t have the facts about this whole saga; but what I know is that Jacque is in no small mess. But we must all remember that been in a mess doesn’t always mean that one is guilty. Until all stories are heard and the facts analysed, no-one knows who is innocent and who is guilty. But its a serious case because another gal is dead. But when the dust settles, what may hurt Jacque the most is really not what happened. It is what you find out about people and institutions in the process. There is for sure soo much to learn from a happening like this. It brings you to the realization that success and popularity have broad support.
But of-course, some of that support is a fake community of funs, friends and sadly so, at times some cousins (family). Failure and set backs on the other hand make you an instant orphan. Particularly if published on any media. Some reminders will help us keep our heads into perspective and prepared for whatever impostors befall us tomorrow. One is that at one point in life, in different ways, levels and magnitude, all of us will have both Jacque’s and Waihiga’s experiences. As wisdom teaches, never count your friends, wait till you need them. Its not in the parties of life that you know your friends; its in the pits!!
Because honestly, while sometimes friends and colleagues can’t always save you when you find yourself on the other side of the law. They can do a lot to help shape the public opinion of a matter. For the one in crisis, that can be something good for the soul and one’s personal brand. It would obviously mean much more if such ‘defenders’ are in media circles. Let me not hide my disappointment, I have through the week waited and felt like some journalist friend to Jacque should have taken personal risk to tell the story in a way that doesn’t do all the incrimination before the case is heard. If not on the main screens and prints, just through their personal E-Handles.
But failure and setbacks while bad and painful help a lot in helping us rearrange our priorities. Particularly so for relationships. We all sometimes can get trapped in a virtual world of work and business. And you can live there thinking that your company, colleagues, and business partners are people very close to you. Until the day you are in a reputation crisis, long-termly sick or your cash-flows are South and the bills North. You maybe surprised there was no friendship or relationship at all; just business. There are people that will praise you for as long as you are been praised, but wait until there is a rumor and you are been devoured. They turn carnivorous on you, and your brand.
There is something I call “demonization of success” ( I should get time to write about it). Its a psychological defense mechanism of ‘failures’ in society. The aim is usually to steal credit from the outstanding persons in society by showing that their success is not genuine or hard earned. By doing that, the egos of the ‘demonizers’ get soothed. As they gossip, they feel that their failure or non-performance is not their responsibility. Its a form of escapism! They slept their way up they say, they did fishy deals to succeed, or simply their dad is rich so what do you expect.
I’d like to say here that I know the state of our society, people steal, people sleep up, but I also know people that have worked hard to be where they are. I have seen saddening comments from many people celebrating the tribulations of the media gal. I don’t know her in person. But while the seriousness of the allegations lodged cannot be underestimated, I’m concerned that many of the people on social media were not mourning Monica. They were just happy that a top gal in town is down. I beg to know, how does her downfall credit their accounts? Are they now renown news anchors?
So, because tomorrow it may be you, keep an opinion about yourself deeply seated into your heart. Because too many people saying an incorrect thing about you during a crisis like Jacque’s can make you doubt yourself. It can break the inner you. I tell the teams I lead, “Its your job to tell the world who you are.” That job gets harder, when the world has reasons and rumors to feed their doubts, because like it was for Jesus, some out there say that you are a thief! But what is happening to Jacque this season is also very important to every journalist in Kenya.
May be its a turning point for them to ask themselves where they point their cameras as individuals. How they rush to tell the stories. Are the stories true? How does the story affect the person, their career or their close family? There are many people and businesses that have been hurt by some in the media in irreparable ways. In this case for example, with all the hating and the judging that people have done. What will we say if we later find that Jacque was just a gal in love with a man she probably didnt know well? Who doesn’t know that gals get lied to? Who doesn’t know that when they get lied to, they naively transmit to the world the only truth they know; lies.
So as we mourn the painful death of Monica, and as we pray for her family and close friends for their insurmountable loss. Let us also pray that the vengeance for her life does not take away another’s life or career. Particularly so if that person is innocent. And its really not our job on social media to know who is innocent and who is not. Social media can be a forest of lies, rumors and untold speculations. By keenly studying this whole story, and with my little understanding on matters of the heart. And particularly so for a lady in love. Is it not possible that she did everything for love? And it remains true; all is fair in love and war. And falling in love can really be just that; A FALL! A good one or a bad one!
Love is a serious conflict of interest in reasoning about anything that involves the people we love. Again, who doesn’t know that a lady in love can live in her own bubble of reality! Yes! Until it bursts! Lets not pretend not to understand these things. Its true that Jacque is an award winning journalist, its true that she is intelligent, its true that she is learned, confident and independent. But there is a bottom-line; she is a gal!
And gals never stop been gals! No amount of English speaking can stop them from been what they naturally are; vulnerable. And that is why when all hell broke lose, Jacque ran crying to the only good man in the story; Mr. Maribe; her daddy! This man is great! The only man still willing to hold her hand when the rest of the world is against her. The only man who won’t take his name from her. And perhaps it says that the older generation of men is one that women could and can still depend on.
Ofcourse, I deeply mourn Monica, but I ain’t willing to celebrate Jacque’s downfall. Because by doing that, as a society, we lose two young ladies at ago!! Tell me who won when we banished Esther Arunga?
Just as Jacque’s good daddy, there are those of us silently hoping that she is found-Not Guilty! But are we willing to say it loudly? Lets wait for truth and listen to her before judging? Perhaps you can start by sharing an article like this! Somehow she may see it and slowly bounce back!
To finish, and on a serious note, modern guys (read Majamaa), lets meet at the urinal and talk this up. I think we are messing the gals!!!